What is a leader?
A leader really needs to operate within a social context. But I would make the addition that the internalization not only needs to be a phenomenon that is taking place within the subordinates, but also within the leader herself or himself.
From my experience being a leader needed more work at understanding my values, controlling my emotions, and changing some of my preconceived notions. I found that to truly help a member of my staff or a friend, I needed to have ask the same or a similar questions, that they are asking themselves. Of course that didn't mean that they needed to come to the same conclusion as I did, but they needed to understand their own logic.
Therefore, to add to the above answer for the question of what is a leader, I would say that they need to also be a guide and non-judgmental in their approach. In other words we need to understand that we are all different and should cherish the individuality in each person, as opposed to making or trying to, make everyone like our self!